Hey, Mom. How are you? I’m not going to lie, this weekend was kind of hard. I found myself lying beside Ramsey last night bawling my eyes out. It upset Ramsey. She doesn’t like it when I cry. Once I had calmed down a little, she gently said “Happy?” So, I told her I was trying. I remember that feeling myself. I remember how helpless as a kid you feel when your mom starts crying in front of you. That vulnerability is such a shock to kids. I remember wondering if there was anything I could do to make it better. I know it isn’t easy for Ramsey to see me sad, but sometimes, I just need a minute. I lost my mom and my best friend this year. As Cliff said yesterday, every holiday this year will be some sort of milestone “first time without Mom” shock to the system. I’m not really prepared for all of them. I was actually doing good yesterday until I thought I needed to post your picture on IG. That was probably my downfall. But I’m ok with that. What better reason to cry than to a happy memory of you pushing Ramsey on a swing.
My celebration as a mother was ok. I got a picture with my special girl. She gave me a sunflower in a pot she had painted with ladybugs on it. Hopefully, I can keep it alive…as long as Dandi doesn’t get her destructive little paws on it. Ramsey also made me a card. It had an ice cream on the front and inside she had written “Love Ramsey”. She’s so cute with the way she writes. Usually, a word will span two lines because of how big she writes the letters. She’ll get better. Right now, it’s just cute. May not be so cute in the future when she’s filling out an application.
The other bittersweet moment I had this weekend was with my other little girl. Dandi graduated from puppy training class. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty sure Dandi was valedictorian of her puppy class. She was so focused on me during the training because she’s really treat driven. She did a perfect example of how obedient she is during class. The trainer told us to demonstrate wait at the door before we went out of the training room for our walking lessons. All the other pups were so distracted and not really listening to their owners. It took each dog quite a bit of time to be able to focus and follow the command. Dandi was the last dog out of the class, and the trainer said “Impress me, Dandi.” She did not disappoint. It took us 10 seconds with a “Sit”, “Wait”, and “Let’s go.” I definitely had a proud peacock momma moment. And although Dandi has been a rock star at learning and obeying the commands, I think the most obvious growth she’s had over the last six weeks is that she is less fearful around new experiences and people. When we first started training, I literally had to carry Dandi into the PetSmart and carry her out when it was finished. But every week, she has gotten a little more brave until she was finally jumping out of the car by herself and trotting into the store without any issues. When we first started training, she didn’t want the trainer anywhere near her. The last day of training, when we practiced come when called, Dandi trotted happily to the trainer for the yummy chicken jerky treats. When it was time to announce the puppy class “graduates”, Dandi had, of course, made the cut. But what actually floored me is that two of the dogs in the class did not graduate to intermediate training. The trainer said she didn’t feel those two dogs were quite ready and would need to retake the beginner class (free of charge). Not that I wanted any puppy (or owner) to feel like they had failed, but it actually made me feel like the class is legitimate because if all dogs, no matter their behavior gets to graduate to the next level, then we are essentially just buying the beginner training instead of actually having to prove our dogs could do it. So, yes, I’m proud of my fuzzy beast, and just look how cute she is in her little graduation cap.
Cliff and I have been on a “home improvement” streak lately. Of course, the streak has nothing to do with improving our home and everything to do with improving Dessy. Since we got Dessy, I’ve told Cliff that I didn’t like the living room furniture. The couch/chaise combo wasn’t very comfortable to sit on, and Ramsey’s bed when it was flipped out wasn’t great. Cliff always seemed a little hesitant about changing out the furniture. I think he thought it would be such a massive undertaking to get it switched with something we liked. After several months of research and trying to figure out what would work (A futon? A similar pull-out bed? A jackknife sofa?), I finally found a sofa that got decent reviews, had the right measurements, and looked like it would work well with our existing colors. It’s similar to a jackknife sofa, and it was a breeze to put together. It’s long enough for all three of us to sit on it, and it feels pretty comfortable as a bed. Plus, since it’s pretty sleek, we have a ton more space in front of the sofa, unlike when we had that bulky couch/chaise combo. The only thing it’s missing is storage…
But we got that storage thing figured out as well. Although I like having a lot of space in front of the couch, we knew we wanted a different dining table set up. So, I got a new lift-top coffee table to go in front of the couch. It has two drawers at the bottom and a small bit of storage under the top. We need to add some feet/legs under it to help make the lift-top be a little higher for easier dining, but I’m really happy with this little table.
We have a couple more “improvement” items to do on Dessy before our next trip (adding an indestructible screen to our door, adding screens over the furnace and refrigerator vents, etc.), but I think we’ve almost got it exactly where we need it. Our next trip is for Memorial Day weekend, and I’m really looking forward to it. I just feel at ease when in Dessy. Maybe it’s because my house is such a messy nightmare, but something about having my own little cave to go to when we’re in an unfamiliar place is very soothing. I’m very grateful that Papaw and Mamaw took the grandkids with them on some of those vacations when we were little. I definitely have a different kind of appreciation for camping because of those memories.
Well, guess I need to get off here to get a few things done. I love you, Mom. Miss you.
Hey, Mom! How are you? 