Hey, Mom! How are you?

Hi, Mom. How are you? We are finally home. We left the hospital on April 20, and Ramsey seems so much better since we’ve been home. There are still moments of wobbliness when she’s walking, but I’m right there with her to help. My work is letting me work half time and from home, which is helpful since Ramsey really needs me right now.

On Wednesday when we got home, we were greeted by a banner that Jennifer made to welcome Ramsey home. After she settled in at home, we opted to hang it from the mantle so she will know how much we missed having her at home.

Can you guess what she wanted to do first when she got home? She wanted to bake a cake. She knows that Jade’s birthday is at the end of the month, and she has been talking about it a lot. Maybe she just wanted to make a practice birthday cake. Luckily for her, we actually had a cake mix and frosting in the pantry, and as you know, making cakes is certainly in Jennifer’s wheelhouse. So, we immediately launched into cake making mode.

Couple of stories to prove that she definitely isn’t at 100%. First, Dandi really missed her Ramsey. She was straight crying when Ramsey got here because she just wanted to run to Ramsey for kisses. We kept them separated at first because Dandi can be a bit rough. We found out soon enough just how careful we have to be with Dandi. Ramsey ended up falling off her swing because she lost her balance when Dandi kept tugging at her shorts. I was right there with Ramsey, but I couldn’t keep her from falling. It really scared us both, and Ramsey cried for a while and said her head hurt.

The second story happened yesterday when we went for a walk by the lake near Jade’s apartment with Jade and Charlotte. Ramsey was watching Charlotte walking in the water, and there were some other dogs enjoying a swim. We kept telling Ramsey not to get too close to the water. She ended up putting her croc in the water, and then she lost her balance and fell in the lake. When she fell, the water was over her head. I started emptying my pockets preparing to go in after her. Luckily, she just stood up, and I was able to reach her without having to go in for a swim myself. But that was scary because I couldn’t tell how deep the water was.

Otherwise, I’ve been sleeping in Ramsey’s room with her every night. I don’t want her getting up in the middle of the night to look for me and possibly fall down the stairs in case she were to lose her balance when she got to our bedroom door. I don’t mind having sleepovers in her room. She’s pretty quiet, and the air mattress on her floor is adequately comfortable. I’ll be glad when I can let my guard down some and feel like everything is back to normal. That may not happen for a long, long time.

Hey, Mom. How are you? It’s day 19 of us being in the hospital and day 6 of rehab for Ramsey. She is getting stronger everyday, and we are hoping to go home this week. I also need to get back to work, and I’m going to test drive doing a 20 hour week so that I can get some work done.

Easter was so different last year without your annual egg hunt. Ramsey got to have an egg hunt, but it wasn’t as exuberant as the ones you held. And this year was so vastly different. I never thought we would spend Easter in a hospital, but here we are. Jade did a little egg hunt for Ramsey earlier in the week with a few surprises in the eggs.

She also did a little egg hunt with the physical therapist to practice walking. I don’t have an image of it because I was following behind her. In general, she seems to be ok with PT.

She’s also been doing ok with occupational therapy. Today was her best session of that as they let her enjoy a swing.

She’s also been getting speech therapy, and today was her last day of needing that. Her speech actually seems better now than it did before the aneurysm. And funny speech therapy story: she didn’t like the demands the first therapist placed on her, so to show off her speech skills, she kindly said “Would you like to leave?”

Anyway, back to our Easter in the hospital, for the actual Easter celebration, we did go for a walk around the hospital. She pretended her wheelchair was a rocket, and we visited the courtyard, the 6th floor solarium and the cafeteria.

This stay in the hospital is doing nothing for her hairdo. I have no idea how I’m going to straighten out this rat’s nest.

In animal news, neither Peach nor Honey are very happy with me. I had to take Peach to the vet to get a booster shot. She was holding onto the cat tree for dear life when I brought in the carrier. Then after the vet, I had to give them both flea medication. Definitely a lot of hissing from both of them. But Jennifer came back to help take care of my zoo while we’ve been in the hospital. I think she likes spoiling these two.

And although this is going to be related to the hospital, I thought you would appreciate that Ramsey got a visit from the therapy dog, Pistachio. She kept calling him Uncle Stachio.

Ramsey is getting stronger, but she gets these pains in her left hand that make her scream. She’s regressed with potty skills and sometimes pees in the training pull-up she wears. But we’re working through all those things. I have to be optimistic that she will fully recover. But that doesn’t stop me from being nervous about her next big surgery.

Hey, Mom. How are you? Yesterday was mine and Cliff’s anniversary. We’ve been together for 17 years. And we got to celebrate by still being here in the hospital. Today is our 11th day here. I’m so ready to leave. Ramsey is so ready to leave. But she can’t walk unassisted, can’t hold her head up, can’t make it to the bathroom. She has lost so much because of this event. And some days I worry she has also lost hope.

We do see some improvement though. She is really trying to walk on her own. Yesterday, Jennifer came back up to help out. When she got here, we all went to the cafeteria to get some lunch. She stayed with Ramsey while Cliff and I made salads from the bar. When I was working on paying for the lunches, I saw that Ramsey was out of her wheelchair, and Jennifer was struggling to get her on a dining chair. I rushed over to ask why Jennifer took her out of the chair, and she said that Ramsey has undone the seatbelt and started getting up to get in the chair herself. She wants to do things as normal, and it’s good to see her being a little independent.

Of course, there are setbacks too. I woke up this morning to Ramsey crying. I got up to check on her, and she had fallen out of bed. The bed guard was down. I don’t know who left it down, but the nurse came in and exclaimed “I just checked on you.” If she just checked, she should have seen that the guard was down and put it up to prevent this from happening. At least Ramsey was able to help us get her back standing so we could get her back in the bed.

Time has no meaning here anymore. I’m vaguely aware of the date, and I can look at my phone or watch for the time, but it doesn’t seem to matter. It’s like we’re in some sort of time vortex. Maybe things will get better when Ramsey goes to rehab next week. She will get 3 hours of various therapies when that happens, so we’re hoping to see massive improvement. We need to go home. I need for her to feel a little bit normal before the next surgery happens.

Hey, Mom. How are you? I’m currently cowering in the bathroom. My daughter is so much braver and stronger than me. But she just looked into my eyes and said “Ramsey is scared. Big hug.” I gave her a hug and had to excuse myself to bawl. She’s never assigned any emotion to herself other than happy or sad. This is too much. She’s so good, why has she had to endure so much bad.

Hey, Mom. How are you? I wanted to give you an update on Ramsey. Basically, I think yesterday lasted a week. It was the longest day that was full of so many revelations.

We had a consult with the neurosurgeon in the morning. He showed us Ramsey’s MRI scans. The bleed is at the top of her head. He explained that Ramsey has an AVM (arterial venus malformation, essentially a tangle of arteries) that she was born with, which is what started bleeding. We may never know what caused the bleed as it can sometimes happen randomly. He explained that Ramsey would have an endovascular procedure that would stop the bleed and provide more information on the AVM. But in 6 weeks, we have to come back to have open surgery to fix the issue entirely. If we don’t do the surgery, this bleed could recur throughout her life, and next time could have much worse results. My 8 year old has to have brain surgery.

Jennifer arrived while Ramsey was having the procedure. We opted to get lunch, and when we got back to the room, Jade had arrived after taken care of the dogs. We all sat and talked until the neurosurgeon came with an update. Ramsey’s procedure showed that she had multiple bleeds. They were able to clamp the main one, but because of radiation use in the procedure, they didn’t want to continue giving Ramsey more. He said she needed to “cool down” before getting more radiation to stop the additional bleeds. So, she will have a second procedure for this that will likely happen on Tuesday.

When they finally brought Ramsey back from the procedure, it was overwhelming. There were like 10 people in the room doing various things (although a couple of residents were just observing). There was so much movement and chaos that Cliff and I felt both helpless and overprotective. Eventually, everyone left, and we waited for Ramsey to wake up completely.

When she finally seemed awake, she told the nurse she was thirsty. “What do you want?” “Soda.” “How about some water?” “Soda.” “I can get you juice.” “Soda.” “How about a few sips of water first?” “I don’t like water.”

It was such a simple interaction, but it was so quintessentially Ramsey. In the end, she got her soda, and I fed her a pack of goldfish, which was the first food she had had since breakfast the day before. She started showing her silly self by talking more and saying her silly made up word “Yarks” a bunch. It was so delightful to see it. When she noticed that Jennifer was here, she said “Hospital” as if to say, you do realize where we are, right?

Otherwise, we had a revelation last night when reviewing events with Jade. The first night we were here, one nurse was training another nurse how to use an ultrasound machine to install an IV line. Ramsey really put up with a lot of prodding, but ultimately, she started crying a lot because they were hurting her. It was so painful to watch. I should have stopped them from using her as a Guinea pig, but I was so overwhelmed and didn’t know how to speak up for her in this medical environment. But it won’t happen again. Ramsey isn’t able to advocate for herself, and they aren’t going to take advantage of that to do their training. There won’t be a next time, because mama bear is coming out.

Hey, Mom. How are you? I’m not doing so well. I wasn’t expecting to write to you again so soon, but I wasn’t expecting this day to turn into the crap show it currently is.

I was at work doing my normal work thing. I had just ordered lunch to pickup. I got a call from Ramsey’s school that she had thrown up pretty badly. Ok, I’m on my way. I finished what I was working on and headed out, grabbing the lunch I ordered on the way.

When I got to school, the teacher asked me to come inside because they were having trouble getting Ramsey to come to the car. When I got inside, Ramsey was unable to stand. Then she passed out. Suddenly, words like “defibrillator”, “nurse”, and “911” were being thrown around. Ramsey was so pale, and she began coming in and out of consciousness. We ended up going to the local hospital in an ambulance.

While in the emergency room, Ramsey would wake up to vomit, then pass back out. All her vital signs were good, and the blood tests came back unremarkable. So, they ordered a CT scan. The results showed that Ramsey had a brain bleed. The doctor called it a “hemorrhagic stroke”. My baby had a stroke. What 8 year old has a stroke?

Anyway, we’ve been transferred to another hospital with a pediatric unit. Ramsey is currently lying in bed and watching Paw Patrol. She’s ok for the moment, but she drifts out a lot. We’re still waiting to talk to the doctors. She’s got to be ok. Otherwise, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Hey, Mom! How are you? We’re doing ok here. I wanted to take a quick moment to update you on the kitties. It took Honey and Peach about a week to get over being so skittish, but they are finally coming around. As everyone told me, Honey is an absolute sweetheart. I can’t believe that she likes having her belly rubbed. But the real surprise is how much Peach vies for my attention and talks to me when I’m in their area.

For now, they are living in our first floor powder room. I sometimes leave the door open for them, but they aren’t ready for exploring quite yet. I’m surprised Dandi has pretty much left them alone. Tokie is the one who thinks the cats deserve to be barked at, but they could easily put her in her place is they wanted.

For the first few days, Peach and Honey hid in the cabinet where we keep their litter box.

Then their cat tree finally arrived. It didn’t take Honey long to claim her spot.

It took Peach a couple more days to convince, but it looks like she’s finally enjoying it as well.

Fun fact: did you know the contour of a bathroom sink makes the perfect cat bed?

In other animal news, Dandi is still a big galoot. I’ve been taking her and Piper for afternoon walks. Piper loves being outside, and Dandi seems more confident when Piper is there. She’s still just a big ridiculous pup, though.

So, the Ramsey news is that we (actually, Sandra) got her an adult tricycle instead of relying on training wheels. She seemed really nervous with the wobbling of the training wheels, but she likes the tricycle (particularly since she can bring her stuffed entourage with her).

So, I guess that’s it for now. This weekend, a repair guy is coming to fix some items on the new camper. Soon Nilly will be a nice cozy place for Miss Ramsey. I need to get some before photos to show off a nice reveal.

I love you, Mom. I really hope that somehow the cosmic universe is allowing you to follow along with these updates I send. This is the only way I know how to really cope with your absence. I like to think that you’re out there reading these messages, still laughing at my stories, and getting to watch Ramsey grow up. Even if it’s all delusion, I’m finally writing things down, like you always insisted. So, at least I’m finally following your advice. Just wish I didn’t have to lose you to do it.

Hey, Mom! How are you? Happy birthday! We celebrated in honor of you this weekend. Cliff, Ramsey and I went to visit Cherryville this weekend. Ramsey was so excited to see the family. We traveled on Friday, and stayed at Papaw’s Campground 😁

Then on Saturday, we did the demo work on the playhouse. Everyone seemed to enjoy taking out their frustration on the playhouse. By the way, why is Jade under the impression that John built it for her? Jennifer and I corrected her really quickly on this, but she’s not convinced. Anyway, here are some pics and video of the demo.

About two minutes after the house came down, Debbie, Maggie and Cody came over. Debbie brought us lots of refreshments, and we enjoyed some treats, including the pickle sandwiches, sausage balls and pound cake Jennifer made for you. Then, the cleanup ensued. I moved a few boards to the fire, but mostly, I watched Link and Dandi play.

When we first got there, I put Dandi on the trolley. But at Jade’s insistence, I decided to trust Dandi by letting her roam free. She never got far from me, and it was so funny to watch her interactions with Link. I wish I had some photos or video, but Ramsey commandeered my phone during the clean up. Basically, Dandi would bark at Link anytime he came near me or anytime he barked at anyone else. Although Dandi didn’t want anything to do with any other human besides me or Ramsey, she was not going to allow some other dog bark at them. She’s such a hilarious galoot.

Anyway, we’re back home now. We have Peach and Honey. They are a little stressed and haven’t yet left the cat carrier. I’ll share some pics of them once they settle in. Until then, I love you, we love you, and we all miss you so much.

Hey, Mom! How are you? I’m writing this entry from my new studio. Actually, it’s Ramsey’s new playhouse, but because of my tiny house loving ways, I will probably take over parts of it for my own selfish purposes. Want to see it?

Meet our new travel trailer, Nilly. Well, like I said, it’s Ramsey. We still have Dessy for our actual travels. I guess you could say this one is a backyard trailer. It has two fold out beds (that I hope we never fold out), a dry bath, a dinette that turns into a bed and a little kitchenette. More pictures to come. Although it needs some work, Ramsey loves it. She’s determined to move in.

We tried to have a slumber party in it last night. But I was so uncomfortable. At 3 AM, I gave up and made her go inside to my room. Today, I bought a cheap air mattress from Walmart to put on the dinette bed to see how that feels. It has to be better than last night.

Otherwise, we’re preparing for a trip to Cherryville this weekend for your birthday. We’re going to demo that old playhouse. Ramsey is excited to visit her family. I hope she will be ok with taking Dessy instead of Nilly. I’ve been showing her on the calendar when she we are going. She likes to count the days. She misses the babies.

Guess that’s about all I have for you today. I miss you, so much.

Hey, Mom. How are you? Trying to stand by what I said yesterday about writing again today. Jennifer is on a mission to completely redo Papaw’s house. You probably would have loved doing some of the painting and demoing, especially to the ugly green of the bathroom.

She’s also been ripping up all the carpet, which I think I mentioned previously. I think she was disappointed that the floor in the front room isn’t hardwoods, but she’ll just do a continuation of whatever she chooses for the kitchen into what will be the dining room.

She’s also reopened that doorway that used to lead from the living room into the hallway. We’ve all been curious why that was closed in the first place. According to Richard, Papaw never wanted it closed off, so I guess maybe that was a Mamaw request. At any rate, it will probably make it have a better flow when all is said and done.

Today seems to be “paint the paneling” day. It will definitely make the room feel brighter to lighten those walls.

I guess that’s the update for Jennifer’s house reno project. I’ll leave this post with a picture of Ramsey riding horses today. I love you.